This blog is Buh-nanas. It’s major.

So it might be obvious already, but I have an affinity for bad television. It if wasn’t for bad television, I probably wouldn’t watch TV. I get wayyy to engrossed in good television and feel like a total failure if I don’t follow things through to the end. I would go completely out of my mind if I didn’t see every minute of every episode of every season of good TV (Like Mad Men—I’m pretty convinced that the producers are specifically out to get ME with this whole not back until 2012 bullshit). Whereas with bad television, every episode is pretty much the same and you don’t miss much if you only watch it sporadically.

Plus, I think the Hubby has the same love for bad TV as I do. In fact, I KNOW he has a huge crush on Tamra from the OC and somewhere in a deep dark XXX corner of his mind he thinks a threesome would be just grand. Which just proves my theory that every guy, no matter what type of woman he ends up with in the end, goes through a trashy blonde stage…but that's another blog.

(Trashy blonde, having a moment.)

Because todays blog is about….wait for it….MY favorite trashy blonde….RACHEL ZOE. Ok, not just about her, but what she represents. She represents SKINNY. That bitch is 8 months preggo at the beginning of this season of “The Rachel Zoe Project” and still looks like a twig.

(There is a baby in there somewhere)

And I am seriously jealous. Ok ok ok OK, I GET IT:
1)That’s probably not healthy for her.
2)Definitely not healthy for her baby.
3)Realistically, I probably wouldn’t be happy with my body if I was that skinny anyway. Grass. Greener. Other side. You know the drill.

But the point is, I’m not skinny at this moment, and she represents the epitome of skinny. I mean once, just once I would like to look hot in white jeans. I know ultimately most people don’t think someone that skinny is hot. BUT BOY DO WHITE JEANS LOOK GOOD ON HER, I assume. I don’t know if I have seen her in white jeans. Bitch.

So look, I’m 3 months postpartum. I’m breastfeeding (hello 500 extra calories a day). And I can’t eat cheese (Goodbye the extra 500 calories a day I would regularly consume). I'm pseudo following a diet plan, which is WAY better than simply wishing to be Rachel. And I bought a pair of white jeans at H&M for like 10 bucks. I will have my Rachel Zoe moment, I WILL!

(Just maybe not quite so skeletal).

Pray for me.