Hot mess is a style choice.

In my world, being hot is more of an internal thing. I am the kind of mom that has an inner MILF but hasn’t really been in touch with her for a while. My fashion doesn’t really suck and I’m fairly confident that my closet has a smattering of cute clothes and shoes, but they are probably all dusty at this point. Because at this point, all I wear is black spandex. Don’t judge. You see what you wear when you have a 9 month old and on bad days still look pregnant.  

I’m lucky if I can actually brush my teeth and shower in the morning, much less take the time to assemble and adorn a cute outfit. That’s where black spandex comes in…if I just pretend I am always either on my way to or from a yoga class, I am completely in style. No one (except the 3 people reading this) needs to know that I don’t do yoga. I don’t really work out at all. But if anyone asks, I make Downward Dog my bitch regularly.

Here is my no fail guide to dressing yourself without much effort, yet not looking homeless:

1)Yoga pants. Black. Lululemon, Victoria’s Secret and Athleta are all my top choices.

2)Funky, lively print sweatshirts. Lucky Jeans makes cool hippie print ones that make you look like your hoodie is a choice, not a necessity. Or Forever 21, if you are cheap like me.

3)Flip flips, even in winter. Havaianas. This is not up for discussion.

4)Messy pony tail. Messy is in. Again, make it look like a choice and not the reality that you haven’t brushed your hair in 3 days.

And if anyone asks, yes your chakras are aligned. Especially if by “chakra” they mean “baby” and by “aligned” they mean “pooping every 20 seconds.”

Love,

mama & b